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<title>We Fat Ourselves for Maggots by disillusionsanddaydreams</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625819">We Fat Ourselves for Maggots</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/disillusionsanddaydreams/pseuds/disillusionsanddaydreams'>disillusionsanddaydreams</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Death Note &amp; Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Canon Compliant, Existential Angst, Existential Crisis, M/M, Yotsuba Arc (Death Note), literally just pure angst im sorry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:56:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>584</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625819</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/disillusionsanddaydreams/pseuds/disillusionsanddaydreams</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>People went about their lives; living and loving and dying. Marching fervently towards graves, living passionately for nothing. Decaying gracefully, withering pridefully. </p><p>Fatting themselves for maggots. </p><p>L had never been like any of them. But he felt like them now. It was funny how Light made him feel so inexplicably human. </p><p>The nasty thing about humans, though, was that they had quite the tendency for death.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>L/Yagami Light</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>We Fat Ourselves for Maggots</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My brain is lawlight rot. I physically am incapable of thinking about anything else. </p><p>Can u guys tell that I'm having an existential crisis? Apologies to L because I'm just completely projecting it onto him.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>L stared at the sunlight that was pushing its way through closed window panes.</p><p>Closed panes should block the sun.</p><p>He didn't want to be reminded. He didn't want to remember that the outside world existed. Because, the outside world was as cruel as it was beautiful, and the man who slept beside him would argue that said cruelty warrants control. </p><p>Light's wish to control it all was what started everything, really. And L couldn't find it in himself to be mad about the fact that it had - well, started. So, as much as he wished to ignore it, his eyes stayed glued to the glinting of the window pane. The world beyond was perpetual.</p><p>Sunlight will stretch for billions of years. None of this will count in any way that matters. Not justice, not peace, and certainly not love. It will be drowned in the dark hush of millennia, of crushing permanence, of sunlight. </p><p>Sunlight, and light - by extension, was generally considered a beautiful thing. It illuminated each step of ascending stairways, caught the constant of nature.</p><p>Light could be destructive though, too.</p><p>Light could be blinding, the flash that comes before an atomic bomb. The shock that blows nature to bits and engulfs the rot around it. Often, light had a funny way of bringing about darkness.</p><p>L sighed and looked at the boy still sleeping. Light was blindingly beautiful in the early morning sun. It kissed his eyelids and trickled down his cheeks, turning his hair golden. </p><p>Blinding.</p><p>Blinding and beautiful and dangerous. Dangerous enough to need to leave, bright enough to stay anyways.</p><p>He turned back to the window. The sunlight caught on the spear of a nearby church. It glittered almost ominously. The sunlight wouldn't shine on the church spear forever, though. It was transient. </p><p>Humans are careless in their transience. </p><p>L looked at Light again. This was ephemeral, he reminded himself, this wouldn't last. These violent delights have violent ends. </p><p>He wished it didn't have to end. </p><p>He wished they could float in Light's innocence forever, teetering on the makeshift tightrope between reality and desire. They were good actors, the two of them, so they could pretend. </p><p>He wouldn't mind pretending forever. </p><p>But today they would capture Higuchi, and the tightrope would waver and break. He didn't know how he knew, but he knew. </p><p>Light began to stir. L looked out the window again. The city was waking. People began to bustle, and the sun took its perch. He looked back at the church. The sunlight had moved on, past the spear.</p><p>The world below was murmuring, an ever-increasing chorus. People went about their lives; living and loving and fucking and dying. Marching fervently towards graves, living passionately for nothing. Decaying gracefully, withering pridefully. Fatting themselves for maggots. </p><p>L had never been like any of them. He had always felt above it all. That was dangerous thinking, he knew. The boy on the bed beside him reminded him of that all too well. But it was no bother, because L felt like them now. It was funny how Light made him feel so inexplicably human. </p><p>The nasty thing about humans, though, was that they had quite the tendency for death.</p><p>Inevitability was a shame, but there's a certain honor in dying human. He bit his thumb, placated by the faint tinge of blood. The sunlight continued its stream through the window. And, amongst the wakening world's chorus, L thought he could make out the faint ringing of bells.  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry, I know that was sad. But I left the ending ambiguous - if you're an optimist everything can still be fixed after this angst. If you're a pessimist... well you know what happens next.</p><p>I wrote this cause I was bored during ap lit LMAKJSFHKSKS</p><p>Anyways we're reading Hamlet in that class, hence the title. There's a Romeo and Juliet quote in there too if you can find it.<br/>Do ya'll think Hamlet bottoms? I personally think it's Horatio, but I'm down to be proven wrong. lmk.</p><p>Thanks for reading! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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